Still not used to it yet…

Biker and I recently celebrated 5 years of marriage and 8 years of ‘together’. He is my friend, my lover, my confidante, my soulmate – my husband.

There, I said it.

Why can I say it here yet when I meet new people either at work or socially I cannot describe him as ‘husband’. I still say ‘partner’. I can’t say boyfriend as we’ve moved on from that. I can’t say fiancee as we’ve moved on from that too. ‘Husband’ to me sounds way too old, it sounds like 20 years down the line and to be honest even though that is what he is to me, we’re not 20 years down the line yet!

I am not ashamed that we’re married and I love him dearly. It’s just bizarre to describe Biker as my husband. It’s not as if I don’t wear my wedding ring – they’re there, blinging away on my finger. It’s not that I’m in denial or we’re having any issues, it is just merely it sounds strange coming from my mouth. Maybe it’s because as a little girl my dream was not just to become a ‘Mrs Somebody’, I didn’t have a wedding book filled with cuttings of dresses that I had collected over the years (although I did kind of do one, a little half heartedly that consisted of cuttings from one magazine only…but only after I became engaged). I hadn’t planned my dream wedding – I didn’t even know how people got married in terms of – you need a license???

Maybe one day (say in 20 years) describing Biker as my husband will be OK for me. After all I am proud that we’re married and made this commitment to each other and I can’t think of my life without him! I just hope people don’t get the wrong impression when I say ‘partner’. Yes he’s a life partner but of a different gender!