Bad Memories

What would you give to be able to forget all those bad memories?

I heard about this on the BBC New website here. Crazy isn’t it – a pill that makes you forget just like the wine that you can drink in ‘Ashes of Time’ that makes you forget, the notion of being able to ‘magic’ those bad thoughts and memories into nothing seem so appealing.

Maybe you would rather forget about a bad clothes choice, hairstyle or when you knew you wasted too much money on a pair of shoes. Or maybe the bad memory is because of something you did and it hurt someone or something you didn’t do. It might even be because something bad happened to you and you just want to forget about it.

Someone I knew a long time ago had something bad happened to them and even though she turned out pretty all right in psychological and physical terms she told me it was always at the back of her mind. In the press, you hear about other people who have been through what she has been through and it’s never a happy ending.

This type of question is right up there with what you would give for eternal life or what you would give to turn back time. By the sounds of it the drug is nowhere near perfect and in trying to wipe out bad memories you risk losing all your memories.

I know at least one person who would still like to try.

Indian Summer…

My best friends from University and I have this tradition of going on holidays together. At first it was Barcelona, Crete and Paris and the last holidays was Barbados and now we’ve done India…
What can I say about India? We traveled to the region in South India called Kerela and it’s a beautiful, almost untouched area along the coast with beautiful sandy beaches and lush greenery that takes your breath away.
1. It’s full of coconut palms – everywhere even in the cities. Most dishes are made with coconut – coconut with dhal, coconut with potatoes, coconut with okra – you get the picture right?
2. You can’t eat anything else apart from curry and if you have the infamous ‘Delhi-Belly’ like I did, this means a dry, tasteless diet of rice and chapattis.
3. The trains are very long and only stop for 3 minutes at the station – try dragging on 4 suitcases and baggsying seats in 120 seconds flat.
4. The sun is very beautiful and the sun sets / sun rises are magical.
5. They do not openly sell alcohol so after 9 days of drinking duty free mango vodka (damn the bottle was heavy) we check in a 4 star hotel and find a basement bar where we literally camp for the last day drinking cocktails that cost the equivalent of a weeks wage or GBP2.50.
6. They take security very seriously. It took us an hour and a half of security checks in order just to check in on the way back.
7. Indian people think oriental people are funny. They like to take photographs and point and stare. They don’t think it’s rude either.
8. On the subject of rude, they have no concept of queuing. Several obnoxious people at train stations endured the wrath of Harajuku’s hand (note  to  self, must stop referring to myself in 3rd person. Feedback just a tad narcissistic).

9. Hindu temples are beautiful and one of the highlights of the trip – but the neo-Classical Christian Churches wouldn’t look a miss in France or Italy whilst the Muslims Imans chanting the faithful to prayer, 5 times a day was a bit annoying especially when you’re trying to sleep!

All in all India is amazing,the beaches are beautiful and the waters are warm & clear. Most people are friendly and charming and some of the unspoiltness of it takes your breath away. Would I go back? Not sure as yet, a different part maybe but curry isn’t my strong point and coupled with my ‘illness’ (you try surviving on nothing but Imodium for 5 days) I’m not going back in a hurry!

Goodbye My Friend

Sian

You may have read my blog on Pretty Woman – Best Film Ever? I watched this movie with Sian at the cinemas and we were best mates for a time during our school years. We went on to pursue different paths and recently found each other again on Facebook. So it s amazingly sad that this young woman, this successful, beautiful woman that was so full of life and so full of personality should pass away and be taken from this world.

When it just doesn’t work anymore…

Today I had a conversation with a friend of mine, we’ll call her Lashes. Lashes is young and pretty and unfortunately has come to the conclusion that her relationship with her hubby is just not working anymore. In fact, it’s not worked for a couple of years and the sad thing is this intensely private matter has become a slanging match between his family and her.

Breakups between people are usually between 2 people, not three or four but it seems that everyone has an opinion on it. Lashes is a nice person and I believe that she has endured quite a lot of unjust treatment at her in-laws – not severe, headline making trauma just a snide comment here or there and one or two off the cuff remarks, just general family niggles. A relationship should be about the two of you, because it’s just the two of you that have made the commitment to be together. Extended families come as optional extras and that’s what they should remain, they should not interfere with the couple at all.

There was a moment not so long ago when Biker and I were on the brink of this situation but our love and commitment for each other bore us through, sadly Lashes doesn’t feel this and I respect her decision. Why cry over split milk, it just doesn’t work anymore…

Land of The Dragon…

So, just back from a 2 week business trip to the FE and my it seems that I was away a lot longer than that! Maybe it was due to the unseasonably warm weather (27+ as opposed to -2 when I landed last night at LBA), or the time difference (going forward +7), or maybe the unfamiliarity of the massive double king size bed at the Shangri-La. I honestly couldn’t tell you why but in the 2 weeks I’ve been away I feel as if I’ve not slept (Q. Is it possible to die from insomnia?).

Anyway, being back in FE gave me a chance to ctach up with family – family I hadn’t seen for almost 6 years – which coincidently was the last time I was there! Biggest change was ‘Fay-Lo’ for non-Canto speakers it means ‘Fat-Man’ the affectionate nickname given to my grandfather who is/was a big man. I cannot honestly remember the last time I saw him as he wasn’t around when I went to visit last but my memories of him are of a larger than life in both stature and personality, loud and I was always slightly in awe of him plus the fact that he has the longest eye brows I have ever seen in real life! I suppose in some ways he was like the character ‘Big Daddy’ in Tennessee Williams, ‘Cat on a Hot Tin Roof’. I was younger then though, barely an adult so these memories were probably still from a child’s perspective. However, he had a stroke a few years ago and when I saw him, he was in a hospital bed.

Now, the thing about me and my extended family is – we’re not that close. My grandparents live in HK and I have always live in the UK so there were no weekly visits and cards on birthdays. As it is, my extended family and I do not even speak the same language so this makes those heart to hearts pretty difficult as well. So in a way I guess considering I have probably not seen my g’dad for well over 6 years I cannot explain my tears as I visited him, lying in his hospital bed with tubes up his nose. I cannot explain the sorrow I felt seeing this Fat Man looking so small, almost half the man he was, not being able to speak and seeing me with unknowing eyes.

I guess it just shows the mere mortalness of it all.

Christmas is a coming…

Already we are in October, not long ago it was still supposedly summer. Now my thoughts have turned to yule-tidiness. Hmm, something must be a miss, the last couple fo years I have been a proper Scrooge not thinking about Xmas until the very last minute and here I am over 2 months away and planning and scheming like an bunny-boiling gold digger.

Anyway, I think it has something to do with the fact that I have to write most of November off (business trip to Far East, business class, 5* hotels.. need I go on?) and also the fact that I have just this very night BOOKED FLIGHTS TO INDIA. Now need to organise visa to India and get more jabs in than a feather weight boxing match. Luckily, Corporate Travel Dept sorts out FE visas so not getting up at the crack of dawn which is what I’ve been told about getting Indian visas….

Anyway, Christmas. Ah yes. Family coming to mine again this year as sister et al are off to Germany to visit the father-in-law. Great! More cooking and feeding the 5 thousand (Lil Bro eats way more than his fair share).

On my Christmas list this year… a new garden. Oh yes, that is something else not shared with the mighty masses. Too tired even to think about it now….

Bad Habits…

I understand everyone has bad habits. I for one have bad habits like – I used to chew my fingernails and I like to chew my cuticles. I also have a friend that likes to search for split ends in her hair and my mum used to pick our spots (actually I still do but thankfully don’t get too many)! Anyway point is there are some bad habits are ok to do in public – might be a bit squeamish but generally they’re not massively gross.

So. Why would you pick your nose in public and then proceed to suck your fingernails in public? I know. Gross. But this is what I have witnessed – no less than twice. Both times I am minding my own business in my car, and not sure if you notice but if you look in your rearview mirror you can clearly see the driver behind you. Yes, first time young guy driving to work in the morning and 2nd time just last night a lady with glasses and a suit. IE. Both adults, both drivers and in public. Ok you can argue that in your own car is your own space but hello? A car has glass see through windows and I can see you through my rearview mirror – therefore in my book that is public!

Oh, and the lady picked her teeth and the zits on her chin as well.

Uber gross!

FAMOUS!

Elbow recently won the prestigious Mercury Music prize. I am not familiar with the studio album that won them this prize but I still think that this is brilliant – why? I USED TO KNOW THEM – yes, I, simple, little HarajukuCat knew them in their alter ego as ‘Soft’ whilst studying for our A-Levels in a sleepy little Mancunian town. Our college building has now been bull dozed for the sake of new housing and the site of our Smoking Common Room is now probably someone’s ensuite toilet but nothing can take away the memories of that little shed, where we smoked, played twister and talked politics, religion and philosophy as only idealistic eighteen to twenty year olds can.

It’s bizarre when you think back to how we all were, they were thinner, had more hair and their songs were about human suffering. Now they’re being described as ‘portly’ but their songs are still about human condition, so no change there. Not sure if any of them would recognize me but hey it’s a small claim to fame for me.

Still not used to it yet…

Biker and I recently celebrated 5 years of marriage and 8 years of ‘together’. He is my friend, my lover, my confidante, my soulmate – my husband.

There, I said it.

Why can I say it here yet when I meet new people either at work or socially I cannot describe him as ‘husband’. I still say ‘partner’. I can’t say boyfriend as we’ve moved on from that. I can’t say fiancee as we’ve moved on from that too. ‘Husband’ to me sounds way too old, it sounds like 20 years down the line and to be honest even though that is what he is to me, we’re not 20 years down the line yet!

I am not ashamed that we’re married and I love him dearly. It’s just bizarre to describe Biker as my husband. It’s not as if I don’t wear my wedding ring – they’re there, blinging away on my finger. It’s not that I’m in denial or we’re having any issues, it is just merely it sounds strange coming from my mouth. Maybe it’s because as a little girl my dream was not just to become a ‘Mrs Somebody’, I didn’t have a wedding book filled with cuttings of dresses that I had collected over the years (although I did kind of do one, a little half heartedly that consisted of cuttings from one magazine only…but only after I became engaged). I hadn’t planned my dream wedding – I didn’t even know how people got married in terms of – you need a license???

Maybe one day (say in 20 years) describing Biker as my husband will be OK for me. After all I am proud that we’re married and made this commitment to each other and I can’t think of my life without him! I just hope people don’t get the wrong impression when I say ‘partner’. Yes he’s a life partner but of a different gender!

Trading Places

Not sure if everyone is familiar with the concept of ’speed dating’ – but it’s when a group of singletons meet each other for 5 minutes and then make a note of the people they would like to see again. I think this is a great idea and if not already happily married would probably find much fun in speed dating. Not strictly to meet new people but to ask lots of inane questions. I, in fact, have wasted time in thinking of my top 5 speed dating questions. Now, aside from the questions about name, age, job and religion – I mean how much does that actually tell you about a person? The best questions about their personality – what actually makes them tick are the questions that are completely crazy – because if they refuse to answer they obviously not quick enough to think of a great comeback, or have no sense of humour or imagination – both big no’s in my book.

All of my questions are ‘What If’ questions.

What if I we really got on and when I invited you back to my house I had an army of teddy bears on my bed and I proceeded to introduce them all to you one by one with a full family name and history?

What if I asked you to lend my £5000 to have cosmetic surgery to enhance my breasts?

What if I turned out to be famous – but for the wrong reason (like I embezzled money from my company but in fact a really nice girl) – would you tell your family when you introduced me?

What if, when I stood up I was in fact 6ft 5″ but you had already asked me for a date. Would you still turn up?

What if I was not in fact a lowly, ordinary office worker but the daughter of a crime lord, or a spy or an International Bounty hunter – would you still date me?

I am not sure why I think they would be a good idea, I just think it would be quite funny and I’m a great asker of ‘What If’ questions!!!